still sick? awww mannn

bahhh
this stupid cough isn't going away,...... hmmmm..... might take doc's advise to get chest xray sometime soon

Kind of sad?

I was thinking about a lot of things today.... it's funny how reflective you can be looking behind, looking in retrospect. I realised that life sometimes is a little scary. I don't know, but i think this feeling came about due to many things.

In the morning I woke up early to meet my work 'buddy' who will sorta be my peer to help me out. Anyhow, so i trudged out at 7:15 to catch a bus and then took a train from parliament to south yarra where i'll be working on Toorak rd. Funnily enough, i bumped into a good friend of mine i haven't seen in ages on the bus, Geoff. We were talking about various things, work, people etc, and then he mentioned a friend of ours was getting married. I was kind of shocked. They'd been going out for maybe almost 2 years and the girl's onlty 21, and they're getting married. Even though the guy is around 26-27, i still felt that it was a big shock. I realised that uni life is almost at an end for me, and i realised that life is kind of a little sad. Growing up is sad. Somehow all the things that are fun seem to be not so fun because you might not have time to enjoy it.

So i went along my journey, and got there early. I waited about 10 minutes outside before I went in and beeped him to come down. We went for breakfast and he treated me. After that he took me on a tour of the building (very shabby crappy building mind you) and he kept complaining about it too, but anyhow, met all these people, and met one of the former managers in my section, he took me out for a drink, and he talked about heaps and heaps and heaps of stuff, and it kind of got me half excited but actually more scared. I felt kind of sad because I start realising so many people will have that kind of lifestyle he was talking about. Waking up and getting to work by 7 something 8 ish, then going home around 5-6ish. Such a boring life. Yet, people do it for all their lives. I realised even more how much I have to do in order to not live that life but at the same time, I tend to be scared that I'm unable to have that kind of life as well? You get me? Hmmmmm, all this job security stuff, and future talk definitely gets me down because i've never been a person who's been satisfied to plan everything out, sigh.

The role which i'll be in seems to be perfectly planned by God in a sense.... it's kinda like my tech support job but apparantly i'll be working pretty hard and there won't be much "free time" in a sense, which kindaaa sucks. I'll also be working in a team where there will be a much older generation so apparantly i'm meant to tone things down and be boring and proper etc. My buddy seems to be very ummmmmm, job orientated, i could see the success whore in his eyes because he was very witty and kinda did things in a manner that you could tell that he was trying to climb up the ladder, but he wasn't offending you in any way.

But yeah, back to the point. So i guess i had a pretty crappy day because i didn't feel like growing up even though it is inevitable. I went back to the city afterwards to meet my web guy and we talked about the future of my website, which actually is going quite well. I originally had ideas that i wanted to incorporate into the site but he convinced me otherwise, which to my logic after he mentioned it, seemed quite appropriate. Anyhow, the site will be providing free sms' soon so that'll be interesting traffic.

I've also received my business cards =) So if you haven't got one yet, lemme know and i'll give you one =)

Anyhow, that's pretty much it. What's gonna happen for the next week or so? Hmmmm, i think i need some time to reflect and spend some time i guess talking to God. Haven't really done that much recently. Been a bit out of it sigh. I think i'm losing my focus so i'm gonna try regain it back again. Been a bit of a rough road recently and the feeling i have at the moment, this sense of being lost, i really don't like, so i'm gonna try and get my spirits up and again.

I think i've also been letting down a few people at church recently too. I wasn't able to show up on Sunday coz i had a late night and i was feeling kinda crap (sick and depressed). So i only woke up at like 1. Anyhow, enough of this, sounds depressing, but yer, i should really go do something =)

over n out

goin to the beach

muahuhahua

90 mile beach

9th december

anyone interested?

VSB

Vestigial side bands.... they're not your friend

gzusfreak - What's Open 24hours?

Heheh, just thought i'd like to blog about my website. So what is it all about? Well, it's a place to find all the 24 hour and late night places in Melbourne. This includes food and also entertainment and services. Currently, it's a little bit of an eye sore because there's not that much happening there, but hopefully when exams finish, i'll be able to go out there and pretty much get everything all up to scratch etc =)

Just wanted to thank hwang for being the only active member at the moment ahhaha =p So for those who know about my site and have an account, go post something on the forums or even upload some gallery pics please =) Much appreciated.

I'm planning to do heaps of stuff for the site, and i think i'll be very excited and into it as soon as exams are over. Any suggestions to improve the site will definitely be good/considered =)

OKOK, back to studying

http://www.whatsopen.com.au

yoyo

ok, so here i am at 4am, wanting to study more of my sensors, when in actual fact i'm kind of brain dead.... so here we go with the 4am blog. Tonight, i mean today, i'll talk about......... success and failure. This relationship is coupled by the well known combination of procrastiatination and hard work. This also doesn't overlook the relationship with perseverance and commitment either. Well, they're all intertwined together but fundamentally i think........that life is unfair =p

Sigh, what makes me say that? Well, a lot of reasons i guess. But mostly maybe it's because i've been trying hard and all but it just seems that sometimes the more i try the worse off things become. I sometimes get engulfed by my own expectations as well. Working with others is especially hard for me. I mean, it's ok when the other people are either smarter or better than me at things, but when they aren't? i dunno......... i kinda get a little disappointed. This sounds quite big headed huh? But i'm tellin the truth. I'll give you an example.

I'm currently coaching the IGS badminton team. As much as I love playing badminton and all, I used to love it even more. Why? There was actual talent in the badminton team in the past. "Back in those days" when i would sweat like a pig, and catch my breath and gulp down water like anything, it was tough but sooo fun. Now? I'm coaching a team who can't even hit the shuttle more than half the time ........... and they call themselves the 'A team' zzzzzzzomgggggggggg !!! I literally verbally abuse them every single time i go to train with them. Well, not every time, sometimes i get so worked up that i actually don't have anything to say, their incompetence sometimes gets the better of me and i kinda silence myself and think "why am i still here" hahaha, butt............ i played with Victor (former igs player) last Saturday and that made me quite happy. I'm sooooo sore atm, back, legs, thighs, arms, biceps, shoulder blade etc but i'm happy =p I actually got to play decently and i even lost a game. We stopped at 1-1 coz we were both buggered. We were practising for a competition comin up on the 25th.

Anyhow...... all this verbal abuse almost every week has started to change me slightly i think. Even though this verbal abuse helps the students because they're "guys" and they kinda take the talk and sorta feel down but only to fight back and prove me wrong.......... i've started to take this mentality a little too far i reckon........ i'm part of other groups/bands and i think i'm being a little harsh in what i say sometimes, so i guess i want to apologise to those who i've been a little harsh and rude to lately (apart from the IGS boyz i'm training) ahhahaha =p

But yeah, anyhow, that tangent was a bit big. Back to it all........ so yeah, what was i talking about? oh right. Trying......... hmmmmm, well, like i said, i've been trying quite hard in a few different areas, but one of the areas where i kinda tried hard this week that just passed, didn't really eventuate and i felt a little...... disappointed.......not in the ppl that i worked with, but disappointed in myself. To others i might look like i'm a tryhard and i wanna make myself look good or make myself feel good, but i dunno, i think my expectations might have lead to this? I guess i sometimes have a bit of a standard/expectation to things, and it doesn't help because i get disappointed or upset if it doesn't go according to what or how i want it to go. Notice that i'm not mentioning the specific thing i'm talking about, only because i don't want others to feel bad if they knew what i was talking about. Anyhow, i think that i need to lower my expectations and understand that things aren't in my control and that God's got things planned and maye, just maybe, he wants me to see that and understand and humble myself and realise that it's not about me, nor is it about others who might think one way or another about what they see/hear but it's about how God Himself will be glorified, regardless of if I do a good job or not.

Anyhow, 4:12am, i should go get into my pjs and then do some work. I wonder what's open??? whatsopen.com.au? muahuauhuah ok, i'm going crazy =p

irony

smokers who hate the smell of smoke in their hair, on their pillow, on their hands, but love smoking?

it's like saying you hate the taste of chocolate but u eat it
hate hot food but u like eating chilly
don't like sweet things, except you eat icecream

mehh =p

hands down to irony

OMG he has so much time

The opening to an addictive tune

------
Eb Octaves with Eb Major 3rd

Eb Major7 with some inversion and a Eb Major 3rd

C Minor

Eb Major 2nd inversion followed by a quick quick transition to an Ab Major7 chord with a missing 3rd
--------

any guesses?

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

[Chorus]
I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You

sushi and bbq?

Well, today was a very eventful day, even though not much study was done muauhahuauhauha yet again another slack day. What happened. Well, i slept at 1:30am last night, which is kind of early for me, but then i had to wake up around quarter to 6 coz my mum was leaving for HK and Shanghai. So i got up, got ready etc, and left the house to get to the airport by 6:50. Made it there with plenty of time to spare. Had some breaky and sent her off. Whilst driving home, i found that the music was lullabying me to fall asleep so i had to constantly change radio channels and open the window a little. After taking a short nap when i got home, i rushingly got a bbq organised with some of our life group members. I dunno.... it seems half of them don' t even bother replying my sms', oh well, no food for them. Let's see, so anywayz, kawai came over and we both went to bunnings first, coz we were intersted in looking at some hardware for my place coz i was saying i might want one of those cloth tarps to block the sun for our back yard. We got there, looked around, had some laughs, and then went to box hill with only 30 mins to spare to buy everything for our bbq at 3:00 at my place. We left box hill at around 3:30 when some ppl sms' d me and said they'd be late. Turns out, everyone's idea of lateness was quite different. People's 3:30's became 4:30s and ppl's "i'll be there late" became "soz i can't make it" and some people's "coool i'll see u later" became no shows. Quite sad, but in any case.... onto the important details of what food we had.

We had (woah using paragraphs again now):

-Satay Chicken wings
-Honey soy chicken wings
-normal sausages
-hot spicy sausages
-bread
-lemonde/coke
-starburst rattlesnakes
-starburst jellybabies
-steak
-sushi
-sashimi

WOAHHHHHHHHH so much stuff, and how many ppl ate? lolz 6. Hahha i think we overdid the food. Oh, we also had dessert, some grass jelly heheh mmmmmm yummm....... and we watched Dodgeball and Scary Movie 4. Talk about some funy stuff and then some not so funny stuff haha but it was all in good fun. A good way to end life groups for this year. We'll be meeting/organising our social events coming up soon so hopefully things go ok there. Feel free to throw out suggestions for what our group could do to help the community etc =)

is it one or the other?

do long distance relationships work? or is it the people in the relationship that don't work? When you think about long distance relationships you wonder what keeps them together, is it the conversation over the phone? the emails the parcels etc? What about relationships you have now? is it the movies, the presents, the meetings, the hugging and kissing, the dinners, the dates? if you're leaning towards one or the other i'll tell u the answer.......... it's none of them. Take an example i learnt today........ long distance relationship........ been together for ....a fair while now... years none the less...... but how do u question the person's integrity or even their actions? just because the other person is XXX miles away, does that give you validity to do some things that you wouldn't do if your loved one was with you? we often do things that are harmless, harmless conversation, harmless drinks, harmless coffee, harmless dinners, harmless movies, oh wait..... what is that i hear? someone feeling NQR (not quite right) ? hmmmm, it's food for thought but definitely isn't an easy answer. How far do you go if you go at all? what are the intentions of each other if not just yours or theirs alone? Is the actions feeding that intention or are things made clear? Getting matlab off bo tonight, gonna have another late one.... i'm just waiting for my food to start beeping from the oven.... another long and windy road =p

procrastination

when you look at everything around you and you finally notice something that's worth noticing is it really the prettiest thing or is it the thing that stands out the most? what amkes a person smile and what makes a person emotionless? do smiles come from within or are they produced from things without? does life become rather meaningless when you accomplish things or does the mind just get tired? why does square objects portray something cold when round things portray warm? why does studying seem to be so hard yet writing incoherent blogs seem so easy? why do our minds never listen to our bodies? why does the heart never listen to brain? why does everyone always feel that they're getting old, depressed, lonely, busy yet they never feel like they're getting younger, happier, more sociable, more free as time goes by? does our intelligence determine our jobs or does our job determine our intelligence? does what we do today really affect how we will live tomorrow? do reader's digest magazines really know everything? are seedless grapes not really grapes at all? will V keep me awake and give me energy to power thru the nights i need to stay awake to study? will i be able to get that Endeavour project next yr? is it meant to be? will the sun rise if the earth didn't rotate? would the earth rotate if there was no sun? are my questions just getting too easy? will i do my assignment now?........yes